This experiment involves signing off of all social media sites like it’s Lent and I have self control. It is Thursday of week one, and since Monday I have:

Taken zero cat pictures
Eaten five undocumented meals (two were foreign but non-violent, -criminal, or -rapey)
Charged my Fitbit
Learned how legs work
Used a bike for more than home decor
Finished a project more than three minutes before deadline
Read some books (smart ones)
Pondered how to provide a more enriching life for the cat
Picked up a smoking habit
Quit smoking (like a boss)
Wrote in a notebook with a sharpened graphite stick
Discovered hand cramps
Went to bed sober
Unfriended zero trolls
Liked some stuff off the record
Put laundry away like a motherfuckin grown up (without threat)
Tidied up without danger of imminent visitation
Lost cell phone for 24-hours before indulging a nervous breakdown
Met some millennials I did not immediately hate
Postured entitled condescension only once (while buying organic vegetables)
Read petty drama in the comments none
Seriously contemplated suicide and murder not even once